Saint Bernard Wants a Timex for Xmas

My daughter, aka the "frog whisperer", has an adorable Saint Bernard named Bernie. She weighs well over 200 lbs. Bernie likes to sleep in the bed with daughter and husband, who for reasons you can well imagine, prefer her that she not. Bernie has gotten very sneaky at ways of getting in bed. Her latest trick is to wake daughter up sometime during the nite (pretending to need to go outside). While daugher gets up and goes to the back door to let her out, Bernie is assuming her place in bed. By the time daughter has determined that she has been tricked again and gets back to the bedroom, Bernie is fast asleep next to my son-in-law. She has tried numerous times to move her (daugter only weighs 120 lbs---dog weighs over 200), to no avail. Forget about waking up husband...he is dead to the world. Daughter will sometimes try to squeeze in next to her and go back to sleep, but usually ends up on the sofa in the den.

Today, Bernie got her up at 4 a.m. and she is requesting that we get Bernie a Timex for Xmas so she can see what time it is for herself and not wake her up. I don't think the Timex is going to help much though. Bernie already knows what time it is...time to get in bed with mom & dad.